Once Upon A Time...

As a child, I wasn't the kind of girl to have princess fantasies.  I didn't ever have the expectation that some knight in shining armor would rescue me from my pathetic existence, whisk me off to a castle, and take care of me.  This could be due to a multitude of reasons, including, but not limited to:

Growing up in middle class suburbia, where my existence was far from pathetic and the only things I needed to be rescued from were my annoying little brother and boring Hebrew school classes.

AND/OR

Growing up with a hippie liberal feminist mother who instilled the expectation that I would be an educated hard-worker and be fully capable of taking care of myself and those around me, if need be.

AND

The fact that I'm clearly lacking the key gene that provides most heterosexual women with the desire to find Mr. Right and the ability to dream of their wedding day since age 3 and the gnawing desire to become pregnant, give birth, and rear children.

So, due to the above, I ended up growing up, falling in love with my high school sweetheart, going to college, buying a small condo in South Florida, getting married on a beach in Jamaica (just the 2 of us with no big hoopla), and living like the poor struggling young entry-level career people that we were.  We talked about the future and our plans to eventually upgrade our lifestyle as we advanced in our career paths.  We both worked hard and went to graduate school.  We earned our Master's degrees at the same time and he decided to pursue a PhD at the University of Georgia.  I got an incredible job at a nearby college and it was a huge stepping stone in my career.  By this point, our marriage was on the rocks, but we moved together to continue to work on growing and advancing our lives.  But, wherever you go, there you are.  Our marriage continued to dissolve.  I moved out.  We got divorced. 

At this point, I assumed I'd be an uber-focused career-woman.  I assumed that I'd spend my hard-earned money however I liked.  I assumed I'd have plenty of time to volunteer and plenty of money to donate to my favorite nonprofits. I assumed that I'd never re-marry and I'd be someone who had a life built around friends and their growing families.  I assumed that "crazy aunt Raychel" would be the one who always brought a new boyfriend to join the vacations at the beach or Passover seders or bar mitzvahs and weddings. I just didn't ever see myself settling down again. 

There is a great old saying: Man plans and G-d laughs.  G-d laughs quite hard at me...a big old belly laugh that might even end up making G-d snort and then laugh even harder!

Because, not even a year later, in rode my Prince Charming.  On one of our first dates, we discussed family and holidays and somehow, I lamented the fact that I'd had to work hard with my ex-husband's family. Years before, I had coined the term Cinderaychel and I used it to describe how I felt at holiday gatherings and special occasions with my previous in-laws.  I always wanted to help and impress and whatever other deluded sense of duty or reasoning I had and I cooked and cleaned and slaved and waited on grandparents hand and foot.  Right then and there, my Prince Charming re-dubbed me Raycharella and I kind of just melted.

Of course, I'm now a super busy step-mom who cleans, cooks, schelps, entertains, and works my tuchus off, but so does my Prince Charming.  We don't live in a castle, but he certainly treats me like his Queen.  Actually, the thing that inspired me to write this post is the way that I'm always saying that he "rescues" me.  Last night, we were leaving a basketball game and I realized that I had forgotten something back at our seats.  He ran back against the traffic of the growing crowd to grab them. Today, the chicken I was preparing to make for dinner didn't defrost in time and he suggested we go out to eat instead.  Those are examples of silly little things, but he's always there to get me out of a jam.  I know that I rescue him too and that's what makes our marriage so great.  We specifically do things to make the other's life easier.  He truly is my knight in shining armor and his chivalry is one of my favorite things about him.

That being said, I have several knights in shining armor in my life.  I have friends and family members who ride in on their steeds whenever I need advice or consoling.  I have plenty of people in my life who are happy to help me slay whatever dragons may be in my path.  My life is far from a fairy tale, but I like this storyline and plot much better.  Plus, I get to wear designer jeans instead of ball gowns and glass slippers!